I’m kind of upset, because I thought I’d done better this week than apparently I did (but see below for how my week really went). I really want to hit my 10% (29 lbs) before Thanksgiving, but that now only gives me seventeen days to lose six pounds. I was up again this week, 0.4 lb., putting me back at 273. I have been gaining and losing the same two pounds since August 11! So I got a booklet at WW today about being on a plateau. Because if you look at the graph, that’s definitely where I am right now. I’m also at a point where I need to make the decision of how committed I truly am and what sacrifices I’m willing to make to get to my goal.
In keeping with that, I want to share the quote by Tom Landry, former long-time Cowboys football coach, that our leader shared in the meeting today:
- “Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan.”
The beginning of this week was okay. I planned my menu on Sunday afternoon and went to the grocery store on Monday. I even went back out to Apple Barn at Opry Mills and got some more of those Arkansas Black apples. But somewhere around mid-week, things went awry. I gave in to a craving for cookies and went to the grocery store where I not only bought cookies but tortilla chips and cheese dip. I didn’t get my five servings of fruits and veggies every day, and I think I stress-ate more than I realized in the pressure to get Menu for Romance finished.
But yesterday, watching the really ugly LSU-Alabama game, I got a reality check when they were talking about one of LSU defensive linemen who’s 6’6″ and weighs 315 pounds—the same weight I was when I started this journey last year. He’s ten inches taller than me and a football player, yet I’m less than fifty pounds lighter than him. In fact, out of 126 players on the roster, I weigh more than 99 of them! Ninety-nine football players each weigh less than me—and that’s just one team!
One of my life-goals, which is tied into the confidence I’m gaining by losing weight, is to “get out there” and hopefully start meeting some guys and start dating—possibly even get married some day. To that end, I signed up for a three-month subscription on Match.com. Though I’m being picky, I’m trying to be open-minded about getting to know people I might not initially be “attracted” to just based on their profiles (though there are some that are getting polite no-thank-you’s from me right off). I refuse to let my weight—and some people’s negative reactions to it—keep me from reaching for my dream of falling in love and getting married. And yet I know men are going to have a negative reaction to my size.
And my decision to lose weight isn’t just about the superficial stuff like looking good. Last year, I had to go on two prescription medications for high blood pressure. Two years ago, I went through extensive testing to see if I’m prediabetic (I’m not, thank God, but we continue to track it). But here’s the truth of the matter—I’m predisposed to not just those two conditions, but also to heart disease and congestive heart failure. Not only have my dad and uncle both had to have bypass surgery, but my weight predisposes me to it. That’s why it’s so hard for me to get health insurance at my current weight.
So how committed to this am I? That’s something I really have to think and pray about this week.