Okay, I promised yesterday that I’d share what we talked about at the WW meeting . . .
Saboteurs, a.k.a., “Wow—why would you offer me that?”
With Thanksgiving just a few days away, I think we’re all aware that we’re going to be around people who are going to try to sabotage us—whether consciously or not. Here are a few examples:
Guilt-Inducing Gilda: “I made this just for you because I know you like it.” Whether it’s your mother, grandmother, sister, or neighbor, these people are really hard to resist. They know what you like and just what to say/do to make it almost impossible to say no. How do you resist these folks? Well, start by identifying them. Then carefully let them know (before the holiday comes) that you’re working really hard on losing weight and one of the things you’re really going to miss this holiday seasons are all of the goodies you used to eat. Either that or accept the plate of cookies with a smile and then take them to your Sunday school party or the office and let everyone else eat them.
Can’t Be Bothered Connie: “Why should I put my candy dish away just because it bothers you?” At first I didn’t quite get this one, until we started discussing how this sabotage works. It’s not just that this coworker has a candy dish on her desk. This person almost seems to take delight in eating the “forbidden fruit” in front of you. And the point was really driven home when I watched last night’s episode of Ruby when her friends dragged her along to their favorite pizza place and all of them proceeded to sit there and eat her favorite kind of pizza in front of her—even though they knew she was at a point where she was struggling mentally and emotionally with her diet plan. Even if these saboteurs don’t realize they’re doing it, there’s almost a maliciousness or sadism to how they flaunt the fact they can eat whatever they want to because they’re not trying/having to lose weight. How to deal with these people? The best way is probably to do your best to avoid them. If you can’t do that, prepare yourself mentally for them as best you can and rehearse how you’re going to react to them when they act this way.
Demanding Dan: “Don’t go out on a walk right now—spend time with me instead.” This can be your husband, your kids, your boss, your job, or anything in your life that tries to take priority over you taking care of yourself, eating properly, and sticking to your scheduled time(s) for exercising. This is the one where you’re really going to have to be assertive and stand up for yourself. If your hubby just wants to spend time with you when he gets home from work, invite him to take a walk with you. Sure, you probably won’t be able to walk as fast as you usually do, but you’ll still be walking—and it’ll be good for him too. Same thing with the kids. If you need to get up and move but you need to spend time with them too, go on a walk together or play an active game together like Twister or just put on some music and make up crazy movements/dances to it. But stick to your guns and let whoever these Demanding Dans are know that you can’t always rearrange your priorities based on their wants.
Clueless Cleo: “Why are you still dieting? You’re already too skinny.” Or, “What do you mean you’re on a diet? You look fine just the way you are—you don’t need to lose weight!” How many times have you heard that from a friend, coworker, or family member: “Oh, you don’t need to lose 25, 40, 60, 100 pounds!” Do you know the main subconscious thought behind this? They don’t want to think that you need to lose weight because if you need to lose weight, it probably means they need to lose weight—and they don’t want to be faced with that reality! How to respond to this? “Thanks for the compliment! That encourages me to to keep trucking along until I get as healthy and fit as I can be.” (Of course, this is assuming that you haven’t already bypassed your healthy weight and are now underweight!)
Freddy Forcefeeder: “Just one bite won’t hurt.” This is probably the worst saboteur of all—the one who can help you justify breaking your eating plan because it’s just one bite. But for many of us, the reason we’re having to lose weight is because of all of those just one bites we’ve had over the years that have turned into just one more bite . . . then one more piece . . . then the whole thing. It’s the same as telling a recovering alcoholic that “just one sip” won’t hurt. I don’t know about you, but I’ve managed to justify myself to a point where I needed to lose almost 150 pounds (about 100 to go!) to get back to a healthy weight. This is the hardest one to resist because (as the picture indicates) it’s the most seductive. It’s licking the bowl after making cookies for the kids. It’s just the taste of your husband’s dessert. It’s the packet of real sugar instead of artificial sweetener—just for the taste. Don’t give in! Be strong! But if you do give in, don’t give up! Get right back on program and let it be a reminder to say NO next time instead of giving in again.
Now, with the exception of Clueless Cleo, I have all of these in my life—ME! I’m my own worst saboteur. Which is why I started this blog. But even that’s not giving me as much strength and support as I’d hoped, so after Thanksgiving (when I have more time), I’ll be getting active on the forums over on the Weight Watchers sight for that daily dose of encouragement and support I need so that I stop listening to all of these negative voices in my head and start viewing food and the way I eat differently.