Graffiti

Look at who hasn’t been posting daily. But it does get pretty boring to post here every day that I had soup for lunch and a protein and veggie for dinner. Since I’m pretty much broke and am just eating what I have here at the house this week, there hasn’t been much point in tracking, since, as mentioned, I’m pretty much eating the same thing every day.

Last night, I did something that may finally be the evidence that I’m crazy, or it may just be another one of my quirks that’ll make you shake your head and sigh. I graffitied my closet door.

Okay, well, not the actual door, the white-board on the door.

graffiti

These three numbers have been my running mantra this week: -2.4, 265, 10%. That is, I’d like to weigh-in at 265 Sunday, which would necessitate a 2.4 pound loss, which would put me one pound below my WW 10% goal (losing 10% of the weight I started at). Whenever I’ve been out this week—like when I went to the P.O. to mail the contracts back to Harvest House yesterday, and I saw the signs for McDonald’s, Jack-in-the-Box, Burger King, and Sonic, I just kept repeating those numbers to myself. Same thing whenever I’ve seen one of those tempting food commercials on TV.

The white-board is on the door of the closet in my bedroom, and my full-length mirror is mounted right beside that door, with the scale underneath that. So it was the first thing I saw when I got out of bed this morning (because the first thing I do is step on that scale).

Of course, this then makes me worried that I’m going to become so obsessed with my weight that I’ll develop an eating disorder—or that if I don’t reach that number, it’ll throw me completely off track and I’ll binge. Well, the truth of the matter is I wouldn’t be at this weight if I didn’t already have an eating disorder (binge eating in secret), so maybe what I’m doing is just replacing one obsession (food) with another (getting healthy).

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About Kaye Dacus

Kaye Dacus Academic Editor (at NCU). Published Author (11 novels, dozens of articles, essays, poems). Prolific Procrastinator. www.kayedacus.com
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One Response to Graffiti

  1. Well, I admire your courage for being able to do a blog like this, and talk about the struggle to lose weight. I understand how difficult it is to have a weight loss goal: if you make it, it feels like a million bucks and keeps you motivated; but if you miss it, you think, what’s the point, and fall off the wagon right into a bag of chips or a box of cookies (at least that’s what I do).

    But the porgress you’ve made is wonderful, and you’ve been an encouragement to me to climb back up on the weight loss wagon and try again.

    Good luck!

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