I Miss MAYO!

mayoI find myself having a huge craving for real mayonnaise today. Yes, mayonnaise! I love mayo! I’ll eat it on crackers. I love extra mayo on burgers and sandwiches. I love chicken salad that’s positively dripping with mayo. One of my favorite salads is Waldorf salad made with, you guessed it, MAYO.

Not just any mayonnaise will do. I’m partial to Hellmann’s and, believe it or not, the Kroger house brand. Kraft mayo is a little to smooth, too slick, for my palate.

Low-fat and fat-free mayos just don’t cut it. I know. I have tuna in the fridge right now that’s made with Hellmann’s low-fat mayo. I bought the Hellmann’s brand for two reasons: first, it’s Hellmann’s, which makes my favorite real mayo; and second, it takes 2 tablespoons of it to get up to 1 WW Point (and even with as much as I love the stuff, that’s a bit much for a sandwich!). The nicest thing I can say about this low-fat stuff is that it does a good job of holding the tuna together and lubricating the bread. But that’s about all it’s good for. It tastes like paste—or like what I imagine paste tastes like, since I’ve never actually eaten paste. But at least it’s not as sickly-sweet as most of the other low-fat/fat-free mayos on the market.

I had to come in here and write this post, because I’ve already “fallen off the wagon” once this week (had pizza and cookies–yes -ies, plural—on Tuesday) and it’s all I can do to stop myself from getting into the car, driving the two miles over to Kroger, and getting a small jar of mayo and a box of saltines.

My weight goal for Sunday’s weigh-in is 258.6—or a loss of 1.8 lbs. I’m not shooting for the stars here. I just want to hit that 250 mark by March 30. But I know I won’t be able to do it if I let these urges and cravings overwhelm me.

I think, instead, I’ll go in, put on a workout video, and see if I can sweat myself out of this craving. I had Cheerios for breakfast (with skim milk, of course), and a bowl of Healthy Request vegetable-beef soup for lunch—and that was just a little while ago. So it’s not like I’m actually hungry right now. But it’s not like I really want to exercise either. It’s just that the exercise is more likely to get me where I want to go than going to the store and buying mayonnaise is.

You know, there are some days when I really hate that all the foods I’m addicted to and crave are so bad for me. It makes me feel like I’m being punished—that not getting to eat all the foods I adore is a punishment because I’m overweight. Realistically, I know that the reason I’m overweight is not because I like those foods, but because I’ve always overindulged in those foods, consistently and constantly.

I watched the first few episodes of DietTribe last night. I have to agree with Morgan when she broke down and cried, wondering why she and everyone around her (especially her mother) can’t be happy with her at the weight she is—and why should she have to struggle to try to make herself “skinny,” which is what is perceived as beautiful. I have to admit, that thought goes through my head at least on a daily basis. Of course, I have genetic health issues that sort of dictate the need for me to lose weight and get healthy—not necessarily “skinny.” Plus, there’s the fact that if I’m ever going to meet someone who’ll fall in love with me, I need to be able to be confident in my appearance and not self-conscious of my body/shape/size.

I know, I’m rambling here. But the craving hasn’t gone away yet. This was a lot easier when I was working full-time with the girls who are also doing the WW program. I now only see them once a week, at the WW meetings. We used to have lunch together every day and then go to the gym together after work almost every day. Talk about motivation. That was what watching DietTribe made me miss most of all—the daily camaraderie and encouragement of other people who’re going through the same thing I am.

Okay, I’m trudging off to try to exercise now . . .

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About Kaye Dacus

Kaye Dacus Academic Editor (at NCU). Published Author (11 novels, dozens of articles, essays, poems). Prolific Procrastinator. www.kayedacus.com
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8 Responses to I Miss MAYO!

  1. Ruth says:

    When I saw this link pop up on Facebook with the mayo pic I had to come over and comment…words cannot due justice to how much mayo grosses me out. LOL! I use it only under extreme duress, LOL! I do understand those crazy cravings though…hang in there girl! You’re doing great!

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  2. Kaye Dacus says:

    I think I need to figure out how to block Food Network. I wasn’t even watching a program, just flipping past while eating lunch, and BAM there was the Barefoot Contessa glopping huge spoonfuls of mayo into a bowl!

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  3. Caleb says:

    I like mayo just fine, but I can’t lie; the idea of eating it straight up on nothing but crackers is one of the nastiest sounding snacks I think I’ve ever heard. A tablespoon of mayo is like literally almost 7 times as many calories as a tablespoon of ketchup. A Wendy’s Baconator sounds like it would hurt my heart less than a plate of mayo-crackers. And that’s coming from someone who calorie-counts as a point of pride; constantly trying to set a new all-time high for myself.

    Fight the urge. You can do it, Kaye.

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  4. Ruth says:

    Okay I just re-read my comment and evidently I can’t think straight or type right today. “due justice” instead of “do justice”?! How sad is this – I have no idea if I even get the Food Network. Wouldn’t it be nice, though, if you could build your own cable package and get only the channels you want?

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  5. Kaye Dacus says:

    Okay, so I ended up going to the grocery store anyway. And guess what they had on special display at the end of one of the very first aisles I walked past…MAYONNAISE. But I went with a plan—a plan to make a taco-style casserole that will work with my program: lean (92/8%) ground beef, fat-free/vegetarian refried beans, fat-free cheese (score—it was on sale!), fat-free sour cream, an avocado and salsa (to make my own guacamole), and baked tortilla chips. And for dessert? Peach slices, to be eaten with a little dollop of the lite whipped topping I already have at home.

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  6. Kaye Dacus says:

    Oh, and I forgot to mention—to the grocery store, I wore a pair of jeans I haven’t been able to squeeze into since I ordered them in 2003, the last time I was down around this weight (when I had back surgery). They’re still a little snug (no stretch in these jeans!), but I could wear them. So between the two of you and these jeans, it was all the encouragement I needed to walk right past that display of my favorite condiment.

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  7. Ruth says:

    Oooh, that taco casserole sounds delish! And congrats on withstanding the tempation of the grossness that is mayo! 🙂

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  8. khayward says:

    GO GIRLFRIEND! Love your blog… and LOVE your encouragement! I’m really proud you. So clever to post the picture of the mayo…

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