As you can probably imagine, there’s a reason why I haven’t posted anything here for almost a month. Because it’s very hard to admit that I’ve had a minor setback over the past several weeks. At my weigh-in on March 22, I was up 3 lbs (259.8). I didn’t weigh in on March 29 for two reasons: because I had to work all day to get a freelance project finished and turned in before I left for Michigan, and because I knew I’d be up another couple of pounds because I’d allowed myself to go back to some of my old eating habits, using the idea that I was going out of town and didn’t want to fill up the fridge with food before I left—so I did a lot of drive-thru/takeout that week.
On the Michigan trip, after allowing myself to continue those poor eating habits/I’m on vacation so I don’t need to “diet” type of food ordering, something in my brain finally switched back over to the “I’m not on a diet, I’m changing my lifestyle” mentality. So for the second half of the week I was out of town, even though we were still eating out at restaurants for every meal except breakfast (with the exception of the morning we went to IHOP with the Barbour folks who came up for a couple of days), I did my best make healthy choices as much as I could. And it paid off. When I weighed in on April 5, I was down 0.4 lbs from where I’d been two weeks before.
But then last week, I couldn’t get myself motivated to do much of anything—including eating healthily. I totally reverted back to my old eating habits, this time using the excuse that I didn’t have to weigh in this week (since I attend meetings on Sundays and Sunday was Easter, my non-weigh in this week will be “excused” based on that fact). And every time I chose to eat fast food, to buy Easter candy (Reece’s Peanut Butter Eggs), to eat even when I was not hungry, I knew I shouldn’t be doing it—knew I should be making better choices, knew I should be doing something constructive instead of boredom eating, yet I couldn’t seem to stop myself. But then the waistbands of the size 22 pants/jeans I’ve bought in the past few weeks started feeling a little snug. I had bad heartburn, which I haven’t had since I started on WW last year. My blood pressure started edging up—enough to give me headaches almost every day. I had no energy, making it even harder to get motivated.
And then I saw my headshots from last year a couple of different places: on promotional material for upcoming books and on the article that went up about me on the Nashville Examiner. And it reminded me that I DON’T want to go back to that. I don’t want to gain back the almost sixty pounds I’ve lost (and dragging around my fifty-pound suitcase at the airport last week was a great object lesson on just how much weight I have lost!).
So today, for the first time in three or four weeks, I’m going to make up my meal plan for the remainder of the week. I’m going to read back through the notes I’ve taken at my weekly meetings. I’m going to get out my WW materials and read back through them. I’m going to review my Milestone Goals for 2009. I’m going to remind myself why I’ve chosen to change my eating habits and make my lifestyle and eating habits healthy so that I can feel better, so that I can live longer, so that I can get off the blood pressure medications, so that I have energy, and so that I can have more confidence in myself and my appearance when I participate in book signings, workshops, speaking events, and conferences.
I haven’t heard from a lot of you since I haven’t posted in a while, so check in with a comment and let me know how you’re doing and let’s keep each other motivated!